burnt out/still glowing

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i've taken to watching you undress thru the keyholes of your words and you never remove your underwear.

i made you a mixtape.

happiness is only real when shared.

everytime i watch you sleep the world caves in.

music: m83 : saturdays = youth

i saw my first dead homeless guy on the street last night.

dribbly messages left
on a steamed up mirror.

ears still ringing days later.

i'm in bed in California with my girlfriend's dog snoring in my ear.

today is a good day to fly.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

i'll fall asleep and forget i ever was.

the little girl on the plane
who turned her doll's head around
to look at me

i went into an opticians yesterday thinking about an eye test. the portly woman asked if i needed any help. i almost said yes but i shook my head, pretending to browse for sunglasses instead. i scarpered out the door before the second assistant guy could get me. i can't tell if i'm just really tired or i finally need glasses. it always seems time to get up/go to sleep and not the right time, either. the past two days have been particularly black. sometimes it's hard to focus, others i can see for miles with such clarity and then it hurts. i have great respect for spectacle wearers. the looking over the tops of frames and down on the rest of the world with dignified disdain thing is cute. snappy cases. those tiny silk cloths that are always filthy and don't actually wipe away smudges. i'd just rather not be one of you at this moment in time. far too many years of unprotected internet intercourse. i feel it could be inevitiable. he's gonna get me, isn't he?

this is what i have:

purple shoes

£55 in cash

a girlfriend and best friend in one

two cats

alcoholism in the genes

a good head of hair

gigs to attend

a ~~huge~~ healthy appetite

Sid James' dirty laugh

an editing complex

a white mobile phone

mum and dad

a nice sized dvd collection

impulsive thoughts

the zeal to turn thought into action [this is new]

a plane ticket

this is what i don't have:

a comfortable bed

patience

a job any more

faith in my leader, this system, my government or yours. George Galloway for Prime Minister.

a dog to walk

the want to socialise

education

a big enough suitcase

enough memory [gb's and the brainy kind]

ex's with empty lives asking questions

The Ice at the Bottom of the World. i've always wanted that book.

a library

a football team who will win and make me happy

enough beer

i hear you have answers for everything.
i hear you don't answer your phone.